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Joke of the Day

"Guess why Because."

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"Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows? Because at last he was in the noose."
"Where do Eskimos keep their money? In snowbanks."
"*dog runs for president* *dog sits for president* *dog rolls over fo"
"10 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed... ...One fell off and snapped his neck. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said: ""It's no use, this monkey is dead!"""
"Wife: we need to improve our home Me: agreed Wife: remodeling the kitchen should be top priority Me: [crosses out ""get more dogs""] obviously"
"Can you tell me why the Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? well me boy, one more would be ""twofarty""."
"What do you call a shy, soft-spoken hipster? mumblr"
"Friend said I should try new KFC sandwich. I suggested we cut out the middleman & hook me up to an IV of chicken fat."
"I guess hookers are getting into the holiday spirit. I seen one today advertising pumpkin spice pussy."