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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a shy, soft-spoken hipster? mumblr"
Next Joke
"Other people's umbrellas are more annoying than other people's kids because umbrellas never say anything darnedest at all."
"Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing."
"Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here. Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo? Me: *finger guns* catch ya later Cop: aww damn lol got me again"
"A Tough Question, by Jon Stewart If con is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress?"
"Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut the fuck up and dramatically lower your standards!"
"These quad copters just can't seem to leave the news... The media and hobbyists just keep droning on and on about them"
"What is mitosis? Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam."
"Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]"
"Whats a cannibals favorite game? Swallow the leader."