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Joke of the Day

"I guess hookers are getting into the holiday spirit. I seen one today advertising pumpkin spice pussy."

"You can tell a lot about a person by holding them hostage and asking them questions."

"I got into a fight with the son of Odin.. I wasn't feeling well that day and when he was done with me, I said.. you're loki"

"what's the opposite of a Mexican? a Mexican't"

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket.... ...She then exclaims some arsehole has my pen"

"I wish I was getting a divorce. Because it would mean someone once loved me enough to marry me."

"Why is North Korea so cruel? Because it doesn't have a Seoul!"

"Why isn't there a Price is Right porn yet? Nobody's willing to cum on down"

"Why do dinosaurs wear glasses? To make sure they don't step on other dinosaurs."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face. #watersportsgate #goldenshower"