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Joke of the Day

"A man asks his dog, ""Can you speak English?"" The dog replies, ""Por supuesto que puedo hombre no tonta, soy un perro!"""

"""No shit, Sherlock"" ""Keep digging, Watson"""

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks this morning."

"I dress like a murderer when I walk through the sketchy park outside my dorm so murderers will be like ""Oh she's cool she's one of us."""

"Just itched my crotch while trying to swat a fly and four people told me I was a good dancer."

"My favourite girls are like carpenters. They never let wood go to waste."

"When you're feeling bored and unsatisfied with life, just remember... That there are some people who think Golf is interesting."

"I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, ""people."""

"I want to be a pharmacist just so I can yell ""Now take these suppositories and shove'em straight up your ass!"""

"There is only one house song. It's 38,000 minutes long."