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Joke of the Day
"I totally bombed my LSATs by writing in ""Possession"" for nine-tenths of the answers."
Next Joke
"I have a friend who's fat, alcoholic, and transvestite. All he does all day long is eat drink and be Mary"
"13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go"
"I've ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child."
"What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter? Cairo-practor."
"What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian? A car thief who can't drive"
"LIFE HACK: If you want to remember something write it upside down on the back of your underwear waistband. You'll see it when you're pooping"
"Cinderella walks into a bar... ""I'd like a glass of shoes, please"""
"I was in the confessional booth today and I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop masturbating. He said ""Sure, if it bothers you, I'll stop."""
"What do you call a difficult problem in chemistry? A chemystery."