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Joke of the Day
"I'm naming my TV remote Waldo... ...for obvious reasons."
Next Joke
"Good cop: WHAT ARE YOU DOING - HE WAS UNARMED Dog cop: *plants a vacuum cleaner on body*"
"50 Shades He slowly but firmly grabs my throat. I try to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble...' - 50 Shades of Macy Gray."
"Her: I love it when we finish each other's Him: pancakes"
"What did the /r/news mod say to the other /r/news mod? [censored]"
"How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was."
"I Was Sitting On A Train Next To A Hot Thai Girl I Thought To Myself, 'Please don't get an erection, Please don't get an erection'. But She Did."
"Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die? Because he was in de-nile."
"What will a blind, deaf child with no arms get for Christmas? Cancer."
"A sandwich walks into a bar... The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve food in here."""