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Joke of the Day
"More than eighty percent of the world records I hold are for making shit up."
Next Joke
"Men do what they want and skip the rest. They're straightforward. If he doesn't call, he doesn't want to talk. If he calls, he's horny."
"""Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome."" - Pew Pew Pew Research Center"
"""Five year plan?"" [shuffles papers] ...written down here somewhere ... Ahh, here it is, lemme clean the cheese off this Mcmuffin wrapper"
"Why the fuck did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays. Hahah get it? arrays(a raise?) No..? :("
"u mad bro? or just disappointed bro?"
"How do you say nachos in English? Mine."
"""You remind me of a man."" - ""What man?"" - ""The man with the power."" - ""What power?"" - ""The power of Hoodoo."" - ""Who do?"" - ""You do."" - ""Do what?"" - ""Remind me of a man."""
"Do you know why computer parts are not expensive? Because they are micro-cheap."
"What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you after you're dead."