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Joke of the Day

"How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house? Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway."

"Turtles think frogs are homeless."

"My business portfolio is a cigarette butt inside an empty beer bottle."

"What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet? H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash."

"I hate when people don't finish jokes"

"Nature fact: The female cat gives birth to the body and head of her kittens separately and has to screw the head in like a lightbulb."

"Macaroni Grill closed four locations here. I suspect the tendency of macaroni to fall through the grill had a lot to do with it."

"What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ"

"If you enjoy arguing about lunches at 6 AM I can't recommend parenting highly enough."

"They call my sister the Titanic because she once went down on a bunch of Irish peasants"