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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ"

"Ever want to have rodeo sex? Get on top and call her by the wrong name and try and hold on for 8 seconds."

"Out in public, my husband and I only argue using whale sounds, so it's actually a very calm and soothing experience for people around us."

"I'm 35 and I was out to eat with my 18 year old girlfriend. Everyone was giving us dirty looks. Eventually I got up and yelled at everyone ""you are all ruining out 10th anniversary."""

"What should you do if you see your TV floating? Turn on the lights and shoot the black guy."

"What computer says ""hello"" A Dell"

"There's a cricket living outside my apartment. I'm all ""Cricket, it's winter, shouldn't you die?"" and he's all ""Chirp!"" and we laugh."

"I'm sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows."

"Just Netflixed ""2012."" Six Billion people dead at film's end. Was prepared because PG-13 rating warned of ""Mild Violence"""

"Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder."