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Joke of the Day

"""millennials are idiots"" - the generation that made a millionaire out of the creator of the pet rock"

"You have no idea how hard it is to find a greeting card for your wife that says, ""I don't remember where I left the baby."""

"Doctor: You're obese. Patient: ***Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too.***"

"Friend told me he buffed up without any protein shakes. No whey."

"It's not a ""junk drawer,"" it's a free-spirited drawer without expectations or limits."

"It's way too early in the day for you to be yelling at me, repeating your demands, and making me follow you around, girl. It's over, Dora."

"Him: What's your fantasy, baby Me: Me, you and my cat wearing matching sweatersWHERE ARE YOU GOING I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE NACHOS"

"Why does 7 make 6 nervous? 7 is his plus one, but she's bigger than he is."

"What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn? Your lawn won't cut itself."

"Why are gay men so well dressed? ~~7~~ They didn't spend all that time in the *closet* doing nothing!"