203270

Joke of the Day

"""millennials are idiots"" - the generation that made a millionaire out of the creator of the pet rock"

"What do you call two healthcare professionals hanging out? A paramedics."

"Have you met the one-breasted Queen of the Jungle Retailers? they call her... Amazon Prime"

"[first time having sex] Me: are u sure u aren't too drunk? Couch cushion: ...."

"""I felt a hair in my mouth but I pulled out a strand of colorful scarves. I knew then."" -David Copperfield's unauthorized bio I'm writing"

"An unemployed guy gets a call from the lady at the Employment agency Lady : I have two openings for you. Guy : I know. The lady hangs up."

"If someone ever tells you your clothing style is gay, just say, yeah it came out of the closet this morning."

"Micheal Jackson If my friend Djax ever had a son and he would call him Micheal, It would be Micheal, Djax' son."

"What is the worst part about having sex with an old woman? Ever open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"At our local restaurant you can eat dirt cheap - but who wants to eat dirt?"