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Joke of the Day

"it's just so crazy to think that kids born in 14 will be turning 2000 this year"

"I just saw the pope in the restroom Holy shit"

"WHAT DO WE WANT AMERICA? ROCK HARD ABS!!! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? RIGHT AFTER WE FINISH THIS BOX OF DOUGHNUTS!!!"

"My boyfriend isn't allowed to go to the Zoo without me, he might see all his ex's there..."

"I'm thinking about buying a greyhound, don't know what the wife is going to say so I'll run it by her first."

"Why did the optimistic Chinese guy wish he had multiple personality disorder? He wanted to be the Changs he wanted to see in the world."

"I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple Sorry, wrong thread"

"Fuck. We're gonna be known as the generation that loved autocorrect fails"

"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks! And it sucks *hard*. ( )"

"Having a charity event for people that struggle to orgasm Let me know if you can't come."