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Joke of the Day

"I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill."

"Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate? It was only allowed one piece of carrion."

"What's the difference between my dick and my jokes? My girlfriend never laughs at my jokes"

"Judge: Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on dead people."

"I don't have a drafts folder. My tweeting style is ""blender without the lid on""."

"You don't get what you WISH for, you get what you WORK for."

"What do you call a Mexican with a broken lawnmower Unemployed"

"Why do sneaky rogues prefer to wear leather? Because it's made of hide."

"What do you call a crush on a fat person? An inFATuation"

"What did the Italian baseball coach say about the only woman on the team? Ciabatta very good!"