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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally called out my mums name during sex and my sister hasn't talked to me since."

"A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours."

"I don't know what it is about my masseuse... But something about her just rubs me the wrong way."

"I have a fifth sense when it comes to smells."

"What do you call your friend from Prague who beat you at chess? Your Czech mate"

"Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird? Tequila, I'm looking at you."

"Have you seen www.needleinahaystack.com? Yes but it took ages to find."

"[shows up 2 hours late for interview] Sorry I was trying to get out of a beanbag chair."

"Not now, kids. Mommy's boiling the Easter bunny."

"Animal Crackers Please do not eat if the seal is broken."