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Joke of the Day

"ME: I was having a juice cleanse between 6 & 8 p.m COP: You don't need an alibi, you're not a suspect ME: I know, I'm just telling everyone"

"How did alexander find out his wife was a slut? when she got the whores throat."

"There is no Turkey in the coop. But there's a coup in Turkey."

"Me: What do you want for breakfast? 4yo: Bagel Me: *makes it 4yo: Tricked you! I wanted toast Me: Nice trick. Now, eat your bagel"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Divorce Barbie ...includes the house the car and half of Ken's belongings"

"Paris Hilton should make another sex tape with two black guys and call it [Niggas in Paris](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfM_wS7qYfY)"

"What do we want? *A cure for Tourette's!* When do we want it? *FUCK!*"

"I have a nightlight flashlight...I can only see in the dark for 2 seconds in 10 second intervals"

"What's the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts? Boy Scouts get to leave the camp."

"Today my friend got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes"