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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts? Boy Scouts get to leave the camp."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Her monopoly has left the seashore economy in shambles. 86% of hermit crabs are now homeless."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm an adder Great can you help me with my accounts then please!"

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition."

"gingers have so many freckles.. gingers have so many freckles because they're so fair skinned... to bad they're not fair souled."

"Do you know how many feminists it takes to change a light bulb? One, you asshole."

"Rule of thumb: if the picture you took of someone doesn't look like the pictures they post of themselves, don't tag them!"

"Lost 200 pounds. Here's my story. British prostitutes are *expensive.*"

"Buying a new phone is basically being forced into a not so fun game of ""how long can I go without dropping it."" Same thing with babies."