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Joke of the Day

"Me: WHAT DO WE WANT?! Him: ""Nothing. I'm good."" WHEN DO WE WANT IT? ""Seriously, knock it off."" I GOT A NEW BULLHORN! ""I can see that.."

"my friend told me on first dates i should just ""be myself"" and ""be confident"" and i was like ""ok but which one?"""

"Most guys think i look like an angel... because they don't see me."

"My parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said I wanna watch. So they let me"

"What did the counselor say to the hologram? ""You're projecting."" (From Star Trek Voyager)"

"Need expensive surgery? Tell a surgeon you're auditioning a few before picking one. Have them do the surgery then say ""OK I'll let you know"""

"What's the best way too kill a Hipster?? throw em in the main stream"

"Text response from a confused carcass: I decay."

"What does a prostitute ask a man with his mouthful? Come again?"

"How Many Karma Whores does it take to change a light bulb? If this gets 500 upvotes i'll tell you!"