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Joke of the Day
"Are you today's date? because you're an 11/10 (:"
Next Joke
"why are narwhals so sexually attracted to everything? because they are horny"
"I used to make a living crushing cans. It was soda pressing."
"How to impress your ex: 1. Get rich 2. Get more attractive 3. Get a tiger 4. Ride tiger everywhere in preparation for confrontation with ex"
"I took two headache tablets an hour ago... Still haven't got one."
"How do you make holy water? You boil the hell outta it"
"Just because you can't dance, doesn't mean you shouldn't dance! *this fb status had been approved and paid for by Alcohol"
"My doctor told me to avoid trans fats. I'm really gonna miss tumblr."
"If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen."
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning"