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Joke of the Day

"My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt"

"Now why do sumo wrestlers shave their armpits? To avoid being mistaken for feminists."

"I should have just named my dog ""Password""."

"Just because we share the same skin colour does not follow that I am obliged to always support you in every foolish and idiotic thing you say or do."

"If cars where fueled by bullshit most of your tanks would always be full."

"What's worse than a pedophile? A fucking pedophile."

"You should really buy stock in K-Y Jelly It can only go up."

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from Taken the other day: ""I will find you and I will kill you."" My grandkids refuse to play hide and seek with me anymore."

"How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space? It's a little meteor."

"""The prisoner is walking down the stairs,"" Tom said condescendingly. ""It's 9:59,"" Tom said pretentiously. ""I have split personality disorder,"" Tom said being frank."