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Joke of the Day

"Girls hate it when you give them Christmas presents with an implied expectation, like an iron, a food processor, or knee pads."

"Was that pun intended? Nope, unintended."

"What is Klaus Teuber's (designer of Settlers of Catan) favorite TV show? Brick and Orety"

"Why did God create women? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet."

"What's your best one-liner?"

"When I was a kid, I had to quit the marching band based on my religious principles. I was a real tuba leaver back then."

"[kung fu fight] ""Your tiger claw is no match for my crane."" *starts lifting heavy building materials*"

"What do you call a plant and sock hybrid? A sockluent"

"What for you call a motivated mannequin? Mannecan"

"I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings. Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though?"