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Joke of the Day

"[kung fu fight] ""Your tiger claw is no match for my crane."" *starts lifting heavy building materials*"

"Police Officer: How high are you? Drug addict: No officer, it's Hi how are you?"

"I went to see a theatrical performance on the history of language Turns out it was just a play on words."

"Balloons are stupid. ""Happy birthday! Here's a buncha sacks of breath."""

"I'm 100 percent against animal cruelty. Nothing makes me sadder than when my dog makes fun of me."

"""Oh holy shit, what the hell is this!"" -people who request songs on the radio discovering the internet for the first time"

"Your momma so dirty she serves more requests than HTTP"

"Q: Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned? A: They were riverdancing."

"Why doesn't Marty McFly drink wine? Too many Tannens."

"What is it called when sensitive medical information about a very fat patient is disclosed? A hippo violation"