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Joke of the Day

"I lay my girls like I lay my bricks With cement."

"Why couldn't the physicist get the Standard Model to work? Because it wouldn't commute!"

"What is a SJW's least favorite element on the periodic table? Helium."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

"No one's laugh sounds like ""bwahahaha."" NO one."

"What Do you Call a Bowler that drops his ball a lot? Gutterfingers!"

"What's that, turkey? GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well? GOBBLE GOBBLE [breaks turkey's neck] no time for your riddles, in the oven you go"

"Hi, my name is Ivanna.. Hi, My Name Is Ivanna Humpalot!"

"What do you call tea made by a stoned marsupial? High koala tea"

"Why is a bad government like a bikini? Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall."