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Joke of the Day

"Mammals for $500 Alex ""Slow moving mammals that spend most of their time sleeping & eating"" What are sloths? ""Wrong, What are coworkers"""

"It's like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me."

"What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in."

"Why do girls always go in threes when using the restroom? Because they can't even."

"currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out"

"I'm an oceanographer working at the Mariana trench. I love my job but its starting to effect my sex life. I'm under a lot of pressure at work."

"Woman equalities."

"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."

"What does a Drake fan with AIDS get tattooed on his back? If you're reading this it's too late."

"so what if I can't spell Armageddon.. .. it's not the end of the world."