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Joke of the Day

"I was hoping my sister could help me with trigonometry... But then I remembered, ""she's in middle school, of course secant"""

"What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast? A Synonym Roll."

"Is venison deer? No really. Only paid a couple of bucks."

"A Priest and a Rabbi Are sitting in the park when a little boy walks by. The priest says ""Wanna fuck him?"". The rabbi says ""out of what?"""

"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and they shouldn't be aired in public."

"Have you heard the news about Bismuth? He recently came out as Bi."

"""that's the power of German engineering"" is a great slogan for your product if you're selling fear"

"Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more? He kept trying to shave the princess."

"Best Buy: What's your street name? Me: FUNK MASTER FERG bia bia! Best Buy: No, the name of your street."

"What if aliens are responsible for global warming? And this is just their way of breaking the ice."