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Joke of the Day

"A British man is visiting Australia. The man at customs asks him ""Do you have a criminal record?"" The British man replies ""I didn't think you'd need one to get into Australia any more."""

"How do you tell if you have a high sperm count. She chews before she swallows."

"What's 12 inches long and makes your wife scream all night? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome."

"They call it ""PMS"" because... Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

"Donald Trump becomes President. Thats it. That is the joke."

"What has been confirmed when Ariana Grande spat on the donuts? She's a spitter, not a swallower."

"I never thought I'd meet the man of my dreams while I was out running errands in sweat pants with no make-up on. And I was right"

"So I woke up this morning to my dishwasher making a weird sound.. Turns out she was just vacuuming."

"You know why some people simply don't have a butt? Because they are on a gluten free diet."

"Billion Dollar Idea: Child-Cancelling Headphones"