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Joke of the Day
"Billion Dollar Idea: Child-Cancelling Headphones"
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"*gets into trouble* Trouble: Wrong hole."
"A disgruntled bubble wrap factory worker could shoot 20 men and no one would turn their heads."
"A man walked into a library and asked for a book on suicide. The librarian said, ""Jack off mate, you won't bring it back!""."
"Please don't tag me in photos where I'm not wearing my roller skates, I'm looking for a boyfriend."
"Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have ""evolved."" Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about."
"In 1979, a call coming from inside the house was a reason for terror. In 2014, it means one of you is too lazy to shout or come downstairs."
"Here's a new mythological creature for the consideration pile. Taurustaur. Half man, half reliable family sedan."
"My grandpa once told me... If you want a girl to accept your proposal, you have to spend 2 months salary on a ring. I asked him, what the hell is a salary?"
"What's the difference between a faggot and a freezer? A freezer doesn't fart when you take the meat out!"