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Joke of the Day

"fun prank: text a girl ""we need to talk right now"" and then throw your phone into a river"

"Top 3 lies told by Wyoming cowboys 1) I own this truck. 2) I won this belt buckle in a rodeo. 3) I was just helping that sheep over the fence."

"What do you call a basement full of progressives? A whine cellar."

"My gf said she is going to leave me because of my obsession with the monkeys... I didn't believe her at first, But then i saw her face and now im a believer."

"Q: Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low? A: She thought it was Diet Coke."

"Why did the strawberry cross the road? There was a traffic jam."

"To err is human To arrrgh is pirate"

"Wife sees me naked at least once a day every day. How do you apologize properly for something like that?"

"I stole a stripper's kid. It was like taking baby from a Candi."

"Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!"