202538
Joke of the Day
"Life is like a box of chocolates: Eventually it will kill your dog."
Next Joke
"Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Me: PEOPLE ARE TAGGING ME IN PICTURES ON FACEBOOK AND I'M NOT EVEN IN THEM!"
"What do you call a midget psychic on the run? A small medium at large."
"ExLax is really shitty chocolate."
"I like my women in the same fashion I like my pencil lead. Thin, black, and easily breakable."
"5: I want to learn drums. Me: Ok, but you have to walk them, feed them, and pick up their poop. *confused, 5 walks away I am the master."
"WHAT IS THE BEST POSITION TO HAVE UGLY BABIES? I DON'T KNOW. ASK YOUR MOM."
"Never let your children play in an orchestra. Too much sax and violins. * Credit to maxwell bot."
"What do you call beef that's been burned? A mis-steak."
"I'm in Germany. Time to drink precisely one bier (beer) and call every man ""Hans"""