202466

Joke of the Day

"""YOU'RE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER!"" - I yell at the McDonalds drive thru cashier after she tells me its 25 cents more for extra BBQ sauce."

"Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!"

"What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street? You need to cul de sac."

"Why did Tigger shoot Pooh? He had an itchy Tigger finger?"

"""when people say different color bell peppers taste different"" [doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically"

"[a Swarm of Bees requests to be your friend] um ok [a Swarm of Bees has invited you to event ""Come Outside""] what tha"

"I've added Paul Walker on Xbox Live But he's always stuck on the dashboard."

"I asked a coworker if she liked Mila Kunis. She said yes and all the better if I call her a whore afterwards. Then I saw her hearing aid."

"I'm writing a television series which involves everyone smoking dope. It's a mellow drama."

"In history we were asked to give our opinion on the representation of slaves in the United States in the 18th and 19th centuries... I gave it a 3 out of 5"