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Joke of the Day

"What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street? You need to cul de sac."

"JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe. [hands over present] JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it- [present is empty] [Jesus and God hi-5]"

"Give a man a fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of his life."

"What's do you call a tampon tutorial? A demenstruation"

"If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone? If not, do you wanna go camping?"

"If my friends and I torrent in Jamaica Does that make us Pirates of the Caribbean?"

"Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his nephew in the jungle? ..."

"What did the furniture salesman say when he wasn't happy with his haircut? Its a chaise lounge."

"How do you make a Swiss Roll? Push him down a hill. BONUS: How do you make French Wine? Invade."

"if u hear ur roommate using ur beard trimmer in the bathroom but they come out and look exactly the same u should buy a new beard trimmer"