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Joke of the Day

"I've added Paul Walker on Xbox Live But he's always stuck on the dashboard."

"I like to make up little activities to keep the kids busy, such as ""Go out and find $1000 by midnight or we're gonna lose the house!"""

"If a horse's front legs are traveling at 200mph, what are it's back legs doing? Hauling ass."

"911: What's you're emergency? ME: You mean ""your""? 911: OK. So..? ME: Someone's murdering me 911: You mean ""murdered"" ME:.. 911: [dial tone]"

"My Girlfriend crashed the car into a post today... It's no joke. The car is ruined and I am in serious pain."

"Spare ticket for Dynamo next Thursday They all Shocked to looked"

"Why is C afraid of every other letter in the alphabet? Because they are not Cs."

"Every girl wants to be swept off her feet. It's when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out."

"Two men walk into a bar. The first says, ""i'll have some H20"". The second says, ""sounds good, I'll have some H20 too"" The second man [died](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrogen_peroxide)."

"THIS is best joke ever :D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVYS0bbB70s&feature=youtu.be"