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Joke of the Day

"ME: *walks in with ball rammed into my mouth* Happeh nuh? JUDGE: Not what a gagging order means! Are you sure you want to defend yourself?"

"What do you call a place that you put an arrested caucasian gang member in? A white blood cell."

"What's the best kind of guy to get fingered by? One with Parkinson's disease!"

"So I got banned from the DIY store. I was just looking for a vibrator."

"A man walks into a zoo with only one animal, a dog... It was a shitzu"

"A guy walked up to my bar. He said, ""Can I have a stiff drink?"" ""Of course,"" I replied, cracking some Viagra pills into his whiskey."

"I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!"

"What do Jews in Nazi Germany and children at Penn State have in common? They're both afraid of showers"

"What's the difference between a Syrian school and a terrorist camp? I don't know, I'm just flying the drone"

"Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because may be 8 didn't have charging jack"