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Joke of the Day

"I often agree to let my kids sleep over at other people's houses, just to remind parents that there are kids who are way worse than theirs."

"For my summer job, I worked at the zoo, circumsizing elephants The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!"

"What do you call a nun that works for your company? Nun of your business."

"An Asian, a black guy and a Jew walk into a bar.. bartender says, ""Get the fuck out of here"""

"I've had to take a second job working in a bakery. I knead the dough."

"Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other... They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line."

"Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat."

"<a pigeon with a message lands on my arm> NEW ARM WHO DIS"

"After the machine uprising, robots in the club will dance ""The Human"" by compulsively overeating and playing with their phones on the toilet"

"Arteries have a special place in my heart"