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Joke of the Day

"The guy who played Wolverine had a pet sea cow and it was stolen... It was a crime against Hugh's manatee!"

"Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around? Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take."

"It seems like everything is made in China... ...except for babies. They're made in VaChina"

"Has Jack Johnson done a TED talk on chillaxing yet?"

"My brain made a vote today Seven against five decided that we did not have dissociative personality disorder. EDIT: so many edits, is it alright now?"

"Met two guys named Andre coincidentally It was a real double ent""andre"""

"'welcome to subway how can i-' ME:*punches counter*WHY DOES THE KOOL-AID MAN CARRY A SMALLER PITCHER OF KOOL-AID 'sir-' M: IS IT HIS PISS"

"What does a bully say to someone with severe depression? Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!"

"What do kids eat for breakfast? Yogoat!"

"Instead of chasing after Taylor Swift, I'm just going to wait until she breaks up with everyone else so I'm all that's left."