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Joke of the Day

"The guy who played Wolverine had a pet sea cow and it was stolen... It was a crime against Hugh's manatee!"

"How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son's dick. (Credit to my uncle)"

"I decided to write down all the pieces of classical music I want to play before I die... ...it's my bucket Liszt."

"We have bike lanes and carpool lanes. I demand a waterslide lane on every major road."

"The U.S. if Trump wins"

"What does a good joke and a man who's dropped his last Viagra down the drain have in common? A missed erection."

"My daughter asked if I am going to die someday I said ""Don't worry sweetheart. I promise I'll be alive for the rest of my life."" She looked relieved."

"Why do Scarecrows Make Great Rocket Scientists? ...because they're out-standing in their field!"

"You mail one pig fetus with a note saying ""I'm oinkers for you!"" attached, and suddenly you're 'psycho'. Whatever."

"When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order? A zoo-t suit!"