55522

Joke of the Day

"Thanks, meeting venue that turns off the AC in the restrooms--I love emerging from taking a dump looking like I just ran a marathon!"

"What is the point of owning a fish? They are just furniture with the ability to die."

"Whats the difference between a boy scout and jewish child? The boy scout comes home from camp."

"Why was the Mexican called a paragraph? Because he was to short to be called an essay"

"43 Hacks That Will Help You Cut Down a Christmas Tree"

"Two antennas meet on a roof and fall in love... They date for awhile, get engaged, and then get married. The wedding ceremony itself wasn't that great, but the reception was amazing!"

"[briefing] CIA DIRECTOR: We have a leak... CIA PLUMBER: (slowly stands up) CIA DIRECTOR: In our operation. CP: (slowly sits back down)"

"We had gay burglars in our house last night... They broke in and rearranged all of our furniture."

"Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime; teach a man to catfish and he can trick some perv in Omaha into sending him rent money."

"Today marks 365 days of sobriety. 364 more to go"