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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of countries on this planet ones that use the metric system and the one that got to the moon"

"Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool."

"I'm an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want"

"My Love Life is Like my Ferrari... It's nonexistent"

"A leopard can carry something twice its weight into a tree and a cougar can carry something half her age to bed."

"What's long hard and shitty at the end? One of John Doe joke."

"Why do people call Donald Trump a clown? Because we used to find him funny, but now he's just shit-your-pants terrifying."

"Abortion jokes are never funny. So if you accidentally start forming one, you should terminate it before it comes to fruition."

"[Dr.] ""Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die"" *slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth* ""Don't do it"" *eats cheese* *dies*"

"All the doctors at this hospital must have gone to This-Piece-Of-Medical-Equipment-Is-Not-A-Toy University and majored in ""boring""."