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Joke of the Day

"""Sorry but It's me or the label maker."" [takes GIRLFRIEND label off her shirt] ""Thank y-"" [sticks on a label that says EX-GIRLFRIEND]"

"To smell good while aboard the ISS, astronauts wear ... Old Space."

"All my punishment tactics against my 8 year old were in vain until I threatened to transfer her most valued Pokemon to the Professor"

"Hump day without humping is significantly less fun."

"So this guy walks into a bar... JOHN CENA! LIVE AT SUUUUUUUUUPER SLAAM!"

"What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus? Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over *his* body"

"No wonder Jared lost weight... He doesn't like footlongs."

"Geek humor: Thanks for the upgrade... You turned my floppy disk into a solid state."

"Saw a coworker washing a banana in the sink and wondering what she did with it."

"Fact: Fat people falling down is always funnier than a skinny person falling down."