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Joke of the Day

"My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it."

"This post is NSFW Jim brought a sword into the office."

"The other day I found two gold bars. I've always dreamed of an Au pair."

"I told my wife she would look pretty bald if she were bald."

"The 2 Golden Rules of Religion 1) Be kind to other people. 2) KILL THE FILTHY INFIDELS!!!!"

"[NSFW] What is the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"Girls quote Marilyn Monroe relationship and life advice so much its almost like she wasn't a three time divorced, drug-addicted alcoholic."

"Me: I'm hot blooded check it and see got a fever of 103! 911: Did u call earlier about having a bad case of loving me? M: maybe 911: stop"

"Q: What do you call four matadors in quicksand? A: Quatro sinko."

"I'm incredibly flattered that my therapist thinks I should be in anger management. I've never even held an entry-level position."