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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Santa is like fathers... He only comes when the kids are asleep"

"Her: Ok, on 3 lets,say what movie our marriage is most like. 1.. 2.. 3 *simultaneously* Her: THE NOTEBOOK Me: SHAWSHANK REDEMPTIONOTEBOOK"

"My new thesaurus is terrible in fact I'd go as far to say that it's terrible"

"What's the difference between a Mexican and a book? The book has papers"

"What do you call a cow's mate? Its significant *udder*."

"I lost the 120 lbs that were weighing me down really fast with one simple trick Divorce."

"Relationship Status: Very relieved towels can't get pregnant."

"Hey men, don't be fooled by maxipad commercials. Ladies aren't really full of blue windshield washer fluid."

"Why did Moses vote for Al Gore? Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years."