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Joke of the Day

"Hey men, don't be fooled by maxipad commercials. Ladies aren't really full of blue windshield washer fluid."

"What's the difference between a dog and your best friend? The dog doesn't fuck your wife and walk the house in your robe"

"My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! What an idiot! Who threatens someone with a vacation???"

"How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS? They always take things the wrong way."

"'Brexit' to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium."

"""Mommy, what's a butterfly?"" ""When a girl loves many boys in a short time during college, she gets a tattoo reminder for her future husband"""

"I went to the garden centre today and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I replied, ""No, you sick fuck. I'll be putting it up in my living room."""

"I know a lot about jokes about unemployed people But they never work"

"Marriage is like a deck of cards At the start all you need is a heart and a diamond. By the end you just want a club and a spade"

"You know what's stupider than a cow? Two cows."