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Joke of the Day

"What's that one room zombies can never enter? the LIVING room"

"If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup."

"Today my grandpa told me I couldn't even bait a hook. Well he's never been more wrong. I consider myself a master baiter."

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was lousy, but the reception was great!"

"If Joan Rivers rises from the ashes.... Will she be Rivers Phoenix?"

"Gotta hand it to midgets sometimes. You know, cause they can't reach and all."

"What would be Jeopardy? If this popular game show told a joke, it would put the punchline first."

"What's a terrorist's favourite car? A Ford Exploder."

"My friend went to the doctor... because he woke up and his penis was orange. The doctor took one look at it and said,""John you've been watching porn and eating cheetos again haven't you?"""

"I wrote a program to do my acounting It works really well, it said there are 3 in this sentence."