201974

Joke of the Day

"Anyone who says living well is the best revenge has clearly never relocated a bat colony while their enemy was at work."

"A partnerswitch? How about a partnerswitch? I'll bang your wife and give you a handjob after!"

"*discovering flying dinosaur* PALEONTOLOGIST: We'll call it pterodactyl, for ""wing fingers"" ME: *crumples up note that says skynosaur*"

"Jesus would be a great porn star. His second cumming is biblical in proportion."

"Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out."

"What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven? ""You are no longer kneaded."""

"What do you call Chinese jewelry? Bling blong"

"Did you know the Dalai Lama has a gambling problem? Yeah, he loves Tibet"

"I don't think 'safe sex' sounds like a very good idea. I mean, what if you get locked in and forget the combination"

"A WASP goes into a clothing store to buy a suit. He asks a salesperson, ""How much is this one?"" The salesperson says, ""It's $1000."" The WASP says, ""I'll take it."""