72175

Joke of the Day

"*discovering flying dinosaur* PALEONTOLOGIST: We'll call it pterodactyl, for ""wing fingers"" ME: *crumples up note that says skynosaur*"

"Prostitutes are like fast food... Everyone has them, though they taste like shit."

"Why couldn't the Mod get into the club? He never got banned."

"There's been some interesting science news today. Apparently materials with a half life of 3 pass through valves at a extremely slow rate. -plauge inc"

"So Tim Cook (CEO of Apple) came out as gay ....I guess that's why all of their products suck dick."

"I got prescribed an antifungal... ... and now my girlfriend won't come near me."

"Wife: He keeps his friend close so he doesn't lose him Therapist: Not a bad thing Me [yawns and a bee flies from my mouth]: Come back Alan"

"Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with Facebook."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... ... those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Why do people always look so embarrassed walking down the street with a pizza box? Be proud man, you've got a pizza!"