201946

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the crocodile with false teeth? The birds refused to clean them because it was in-denture servitude."

"Close your eyes. Now imagine a peaceful meadow. That meadow represents your betrayal. I told you to close your eyes, but you kept reading."

"The best reason to divorce or break-up with a man is for health reasons you're sick of him."

"Her: ""Is that you in your avi?"" Me: ""No, it's a picture of me."""

"There are two types of people in the world. Those who understand ROT26... ...and those who don't."

"My wife thinks I'm too impulsive. How the hell would she know? We only met last week!"

"I like how Twizzlers has the balls to put a flavor description on the package. ""Strawberry""? Suck my ass. More like ""Tire""."

"There should be a warning label on those straw cowgirl hats middle-aged women wear on vacation that reads: ""Will cause freckled cleavage."""

"I would go to alcoholics anonymous But everyone already knows"

"her: the manager of the McDonalds down the street called today... him: [sitting on couch next to Ronald McDonald statue] Did he sound mad?"