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Joke of the Day

"Anthropic principle: the universe must be as it is in order for us to perceive it Anthropomorphic principle: look, I'm a talking principle!"

"Fancy coming back to mine for a few shots ? Fuck off Oscar, I'm not falling for that one!"

"Do you think the rattlesnake is ever embarrassed that he has a stupid baby toy at the end of his string body"

"What's the worst part about being a pedophile? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."

"Astrology Fact of the Day (Aquarius) Aquarius, with an extra M becomes aquariums."

"What is the difference between red wine and women I let the red wine breathe when I'm having sex with it."

"Why aren't you doing very well in history? Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!"

"Why did u eat it??? A lady was pregnant. Her son asked her ""Mom, What's in u'r tummy?"" Mom answered ""Its a sweet, lovely baby."" Son says, ""If the baby is so sweet and lovely then WHY DID U EAT IT???"""

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass. (Haven't seen this on here, hope its not a repost.)"

"Just dismissed my low battery warning while watching a p*rn. It's a fight to the finish now."