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Joke of the Day

"That moment when it's Sunday and you have alzheimer And you're waiting so hard for the Sunday to come"

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat ? The wheelchair!"

"At least the joke I just told you is longer then your dick. ... ""What joke?"" ... ""Exactly""."

"So a DBA walks into a NOSQL bar... but immediately leaves because he couldn't find a table"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and jesus? The face they make when you nail them."

"Autocorrect just changed ""I have so much anxiety I can barely breathe"" to ""I'm fine."""

"*flips cap backwards* son, let's keep it real *puts on another cap* the realest *puts on suit made of backwards caps* REALality. word."

"I wish my girlfriend was more like my job... My job sucks dick!"

"Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician? Apparently he's now ohm-less."

"Was glancing through the Obituaries this morning and found it really creepy that all these people managed to die in alphabetical order."