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Joke of the Day

"I said ""My, what big eyes you have!"" Followed by ""My, what big hands you have!"" And then ""My what big teeth you have!"" My charity gig for children with disabilities did not start out well."

"Children are so unappreciative these days. I bought my daughter a rabbit. She just keeps complaining about how it ""doesn't count if it's roadkill""."

"Tuesday, aka Monday 2.0"

"You know how some parents get mad and say your whole name? Dad : ""You are in big trouble mister. Come down here.. .......... I said COME DOWN HERE.. JIMMY GO DEEPER"" Jimmy: ""I'm trying Dad!"""

"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those of us who understand binary and everyone else."

"Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs."

"What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much? Drop some acid, it'll neutralize the effect"

"What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food? Mac in cheese"

"What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around, and I'll go on ahead."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute with dysentery and an epileptic oyster shucker? The oyster shucker, shucks between fits......."