3396

Joke of the Day

"What do you mean dinosaurs didn't have titties?! *throws my camera on the ground and causes a scene as I leave the museum *"

"A muslim arrives in paradise. He demands his 72 virgins but it turns out there just aren't enough women in heaven. He insists on his virgins. So he's given 72 female babies made in China."

"I accidentally used AOL.com to search for something today. I feel like everyone who works there probably high-fived each other and got really hopeful about the future."

"Question about storytelling. If I stand on stage, with four spotlights behind me, no matter how I tell the story, is everything I do going to be four - shadowed?"

"What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans? Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today."

"Fun fact: Peanut butter also sticks to the roof of your ex-husband's BMW"

"""i like a woman that's loud in the bedroom"" *wife smashes a bulldozer through the bedroom wall with 2 air horns blaring* ""damn i love you"""

"Why did the leper chase the leopard? Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)"

"A redneck walks into a bar with a huge pile of shit in his hands... and says,""Hey, look what I almost stepped in."""

"I dropped my bowl of SpaghettiOs and it spelled 'oooooooo' on the floor. Spooky"