201831

Joke of the Day

"Hopefully women like a mature man. Because when I say I can do it multiple times a day, I mean vacuum."

"I'll bet the first ever drive thru window resulted in an incredible amount of broken glass."

"How do German people not choke to death when they talk"

"A woman told me I seem like I ""need a blowjob,"" which has all the insight of a psychic telling a crowd ""someone here has lost a loved one."""

"The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on ""bankrupt"" being an option."

"How do you hire an elephant ? Stand it on four bricks !"

"A baptist priest with a huge boner walks into a bar The bartender says ""what can i get you?"" ""anything 12 years old that goes down nicely"", says the priest."

"Life is a soup And i am a fork"

"How to find out if someone uses two computer monitors: they tell you."

"A man was killed by ducks last week I guess you can say that's a pretty *fowl way to die*"