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Joke of the Day

"The difference between a scientist and a plumber... The way you pronounce unionized."

"How is Chick-Fil-A like a black hole? You can come in, but you can't come out. <editorial non-joke remark - I'm straight, but these guys need to learn a lesson IMHO>"

"How to run faster: 1. Drink a lot of water 2. Wait till u have to pee 3. Start running You're welcome"

"How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light-bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"What's the fastest way to get to a woman's heart? A knife."

"I tried to cross a redneck with a golden retriever... All I got was a dirty look from the golden retriever."

"What do you call it when Batman leaves church early? A Christian Bail"

"Whenever you're feeling down and out, just remember that there's people walking around with Twilight tattoos."

"It's hard to fall asleep because I don't trust myself to not die."

"Can everyone start saying salad is really bad for me so I can start craving it?"