20171

Joke of the Day

"What will they play at the presidential inauguration if Republicans win? Trump-ets I'll see myself out"

"What did the asshole doorman say to the dick patron? You aint slick enough to slip right in!"

"The only time I'm like ""maybe god is real"" is when I'm eating really really good nachos."

"Thanks to the Fed continuing to print money, a picture is now only worth 583 words."

"What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes? Sweet Pee"

"Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that."

"Don't keep grudges, let everything aside and give a good hug to your enemies!!! ...when you are really sick"

"Who did the dyslexic devil worshipper sell his soul to? Santa"

"Knock Knock... Who's there? I, diddup I, diddup who? You filthy bastard"

"man I hate tailgaters I was doing 35 over the limit today and the idiot behind me was still tailgating and the flashing lights on his car looked stupid too"